Belly @ 17 weeks...

We just got back from seeing David Sedaris at the Steppenwolf -- he was wonderful as usual. He read his story "Let It Snow" which recently appeared in The New Yorker as well as three new stories from his upcoming book called "Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim" which is due in June. I also purchased David Sedaris: Live at Carnegie Hall because it featured one of my top three favorite Sedaris stories "Six to Eight Black Men" (the other two being "Jesus Shaves" and "Dinah the Christmas Whore"). He also suggested a name for the baby, "Don't you think Dusty has a nice ring to it? Come on, DUSTY!"Uh yeah, no. Anyway, here is the belly at 17 weeks.

A lovely matinee

Hoorah! Finally, tomorrow I'll get to see David Sedaris again at the Steppenwolf. Last time I saw him, I got to meet him. He was so polite and funny and was passing out candy from his "Fuck-It Bucket".It is sure to be a kick-ass show.

A rath...

A rather long and lengthy survey -- proceed with caution...Taken from the lovely and talented kore who in turn took it from someone else. 1) Using band names, spell out your first name:ABCLove & RocketsEthel WatersJeff BuckleyAshtray BoyNitzer EbbDiesel BoyR.E.M.Avengers2) Have you ever had a song written about you? Yes.3) What song makes you cry? "Suffer Little Children" by The Smiths4) What song makes you happy?"The Look of Love" by ABC5) What do you like to listen to before bed?Silence! (Or Milo the cat snoring on the bed)6) Name a song by Coal ChamberI'm afraid I can't.7) Who was/were your idol/s when you were younger?Prince and the Revolution8) First album you ever bought?"Disco Mickey Mouse" (Yup, it was actually vinyl)9) Name a song that reminds you of someone and why:"Francesca" by Roy Harper, that is my niece's name. A p p e a r a n c eHEIGHT: 5'6"HAIR COLOR: BrownSKIN COLOR: FairEYE COLOR: GreenPIERCINGS: Just my earsTATTOOS: TwoR i g h t N o wWHAT COLOR PANTS ARE YOU WEARING?: I'm wearing a grey wool skirt that is just below the knee.WHAT SONG ARE YOU LISTENING TO?: "Make a Circuit with Me" video by The Pole Cats on VH1's "We are the 80s" show.WHAT TASTE IS IN YOUR MOUTH?:Wheat toast -- I just had two slices with butter.WHAT'S THE WEATHER LIKE?: It's 26 degrees today, and the snow is melting into grey slush.HOW ARE YOU?:I'm tired, a slight pain in my side and getting hungry for a big-ass dinner.D o Y o uGET MOTION SICKNESS?: Ever since I've become pregnant, I do. Prior to that, never.HAVE A BAD HABIT?: I swear a lot. Before I was pregnant, I drank too much coffee, smoked and had my fair share of adult beverages. Now, just swearing a lot.GET ALONG WITH YOUR PARENTS?:Ha! I did with my dad, but my mother is E-V-I-L.LIKE TO DRIVE?: Yes. But at the moment, my license is revoked. I have to go to court to get it back. *sigh*F a v o r i t e sTV SHOW:Well my all-time favorite TV show is the 80s great "Moonlighting" CONDITIONER:Physique Straightening Conditioner -- very hard to find, though.BOOK:A toss up between "The Unbearable Lightness of Being" by Milan Kundera and "Are you there God? It's Me, Margaret." by Judy BlumeMAGAZINE:Bust MagazineNON-ALCOHOLIC DRINK:Volvic water and Earl Grey tea (but not at the same time)ALCOHOLIC DRINK:A good glass of Merlot or a Margarita straight-up with extra salt.THING TO DO ON THE WEEKEND:Brunch, relax, read, repeat.BAND OR GROUP or SINGER or RAPPER:Too many -- The Pixies, Interpol, Modest Mouse, Depeche ModeH a v e Y o uBROKEN THE LAW:Yes.RAN AWAY FROM HOME:Nope. SNUCK OUT OF THE HOUSE:All of the time when I was a kid.EVER GONE SKINNY DIPPING:Yes.MADE A PRANK PHONE CALL:When I was a kid -- before *69EVER TIPPED OVER A PORTA POTTY:Ick! No.USED YOUR PARENTS' CREDIT CARD BEFORE:Nope, I had my own.SKIPPED SCHOOL BEFORE:Only once in high school and I felt guilty about it all day.FELL ASLEEP IN THE SHOWER/BATH:Nope.BEEN IN A SCHOOL PLAY:Nope.LET A FRIEND CRY ON YOUR SHOULDER:Certainly!L o v eBOYFRIEND:I married my boyfriend.GIRLFRIEND:Nope, just your average girl crushes.SEXUALITY:I am a fan of the penis.CHILDREN:One on the way -- and that's it.CURRENT CRUSH:Orlando Bloom.BEEN IN LOVE?:Yes. Three times.HAD A HARD TIME GETTING OVER SOMEONE:Yes.BEEN HURT?:Yes, I am human.YOUR GREATEST REGRET:I have one.GONE OUT WITH A SOMEONE YOU ONLY KNEW FOR THREE DAYS:Nope.R a n d o mDO YOU HAVE A JOB: Yes, I have a job -- but my "career" is being a painter.YOUR CD PLAYER HAS IN IT RIGHT NOW: Nothing. I listen to my iPod.IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?:Red.WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY?:Sushi, buying books, music videos from the 80s, David Sedaris books, chocolate eclairs, people who can tell a good joke, shoes, art by Jackson Pollock.WHO MAKES YOU THE HAPPIEST?:My baby -- but the husband is pretty CLOSE -- but since it's the baby, he doesn't mind. ;)WHAT'S THE NEXT CD YOU'RE GONNA GET?:"Getting Away With It" by ElectronicWHO DO YOU CONSIDER GOOD FRIENDS?: I only have three good friends.WHAT DO YOU LIKE TO DO?:Paint, write, take photos, draw comic books, read journals, listen to music, create things!W h e n / w h a t W a s T h e L a s tTIME YOU CRIED?: About two weeks ago, when I was still VERY sick from all-day morning sickness.YOU GOT A REAL LETTER?:About a week ago.YOU GOT E-MAIL:A few moments ago.THING YOU PURCHASED: Some sushi, organic chips,an issue of Mothering magazine, guacamole, raspberry-lime SmartWater and cream of mushroom spinach soup from Whole Foods.TV PROGRAM YOU WATCHED:Degrassi: The Next GenerationMOVIE YOU SAW AT THE THEATER: "Lord of the Rings: Return of the King"Y o u r T h o u g h t s O nABORTION:It is always a woman's choice and no one's business.TEENAGE SMOKING:Teens who smoke always look idioticSPICE GIRLS:So tell me what you want, what you really really want...DREAMS:They give us glimpses into our unconscious

Why do I do this to myself?

I sit all clenched up and barely breathing watching this show on Discovery Health channel. I clutch my belly, curl in my toes and squint my eyes with every scream of pain every single one of these women give.Ay...Then I think, the reason I watch is because the end result is always the same: the birth of a baby, the tears of a mother, a father and as her body relaxes so does mine and I begin to tear up watching this crap on TV counting the days happily till my day comes.*sniff*

Happy Day...

Today I secured my spot (well, actually the kid's spot) at Maria Elena's daycare. She is a wonderful woman who is a Montessori trained and certified teacher for 0-3 year olds. The waitlist for her daycare, which is in her home, (she is, as I mentioned, Montessori-trained and certified, but also DCFS certified) is pretty long, but today I stopped by to say "Hello" (we used to work together) and she was so excited to see me and find out I was pregnant she instantly saved a space for me in August when the kid will be 8 weeks old. *Whew* That was a long sentence.Maria Elena's daycare is 10 minutes from where I work, she speaks Spanish -- which is great because I want the baby exposed to as much Spanish as possible (I am fluent, whereas my husband can only get by ordering at a Mexican restaurant!) and it is just such a great feeling to know that the baby will have a safe, nurturing place where she can grow and develop intellectually, emotionally and spirtually while I am work. I will be able to sleep soundly tonight knowing one more thing is off my list.

Bleh...Snow.

Tonight was supposed to be the first night I was going to a "social" event and now the non-stop out-of-the-blue snow won't let up and it is so blah that I am just going to stay home.Oh well...so much for The Art of the Book opening at Myopic Books.

Belly @ 16 weeks...

Objects in photo are smaller than they appear -- except for the boobs, which for the first time in my life I am finally getting. Woo! (Heh.)

When you have an hour to spare...

I highly recommend "Baby's Named a Bad, Bad Thing: A Primer on Parent Cruelty". That place is hilarious, over 10 pages of actual names and amusing anecdotes on what parents have named their children. Some of the entries are so funny, I've actually snorted...I was an elementary school teacher for many years, here are some of the most memorable names: Alpachino Baines--he told me his father was a big fan of the actor--everyone called him Chino. Then there was a boy named Marvelous, and his brother Dominant. And let's not forget brother and sister Prince and Queen. But the one that takes the cake--a little girl named Tajshma. You guessed it, her last name is Hall!

Ow, owie, ow....

For the past three days, the little pipsqueak has positioned herself in such a way that he keeps jabbing RIGHT UNDER MY RIB -- just the left-hand side. Ow...

WTF?!

Well slap me and call me Susan....this...is scary.And this, well this is just retarded.

Future Plans...

What the husband already has in mind for the baby.

City Knife II -- Like ORIGAMI!

Due out this month: the Nike City Knife II. I am all over this shoe! It is the first entirely foldable shoe. Almost as cool as my beloved Air Rift.I am a shoe whore.

16 Weeks...

Your baby is now about the size of an avocado (about 4 1/2 inches long, crown to rump, and weighing approximately 3 1/5 ounces).In or out of the womb, babies are playful creatures. Yours may already have discovered his first toy — the umbilical cord — which he'll enjoy pulling and grabbing. The circulatory system and urinary tract are in full working order, and he's inhaling and exhaling amniotic fluid through his lungs.Are there any maternity clothes out there that are neither butt-ugly nor a small fortune? My first foray into maternity shopping was less than exciting -- Old Navy had some good clearance items (jeans, a couple tops) and I stocked up on Christmas-themed underwear which was 50% off. Seriously, who is going to care if I have snowflakes on my briefs in May? NO ONE. Well, maybe that person right there...but other than that no one.No one I know just had a baby, so I can't glom off their maternity left-overs so I guess the clothes part of it is just going to suck, huh?I'm off to eat some ribs -- my first official craving.

The year-end-review

Questions taken from runningonfull who is the cat's pajamas!1. What did you do in 2003 that you'd never done before? Buy a BRAND NEW car, start a family (baby's grand entrance is June 2004) and REALLY think the Cubs were finally going to make it the World Series.2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?I don't make any...really, who am I kidding?3. Did anyone close to you give birth?My friend Ana whom I've known since the 2nd grade had a healthy, beautiful baby boy in November.4. Did anyone close to you die?No, knock on wood.5. What countries did you visit?Sadly, this year I visited none --- saving $$$ for a house. 6. What would you like to have in 2004 that you lacked in 2003?Our new home by August!7. What date from 2003 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?September 11th, and not for the reasons you think; something else all together.8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?The new art pieces I made and getting knocked up. Heh.9. What was your biggest failure?Not having more pieces done.10. Did you suffer illness or injury?GOOD GOD! 8 weeks of the worst ALL DAY morning sickness known to man. I wouldn't wish what I experienced on my worst enemy.11. What was the best thing you bought?My Herman Miller Molded Plywood chair in red. Beautiful!12. Whose behavior merited celebration?Hmmmm...13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?Bush.14. Where did most of your money go?Bills. Blah!15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?The new addition to my family.16. What song will always remind you of 2003?"Say Hello to the Angels" by Interpol.17. Compared to this time last year, are you:i. happier or sadder? Happier.ii. thinner or fatter? Both -- I lost weight from the morning sickness, but gained my pregnancy belly.iii. richer or poorer? Richer -- it's amazing what cutting take-out and balancing your check book properly will do.18. What do you wish you'd done more of?Paint.19. What do you wish you'd done less of?Blog on my old site (which I finally took down in September) and spend time on the internet.20. How did you spend Christmas?Battling morning sickness. :P21. Did you fall in love in 2003?YES! With the little stranger growing inside of me. Amazing to love someone so much you have yet to meet.22. What was your favorite TV program?"Queer Eye for the Straight Guy" and "The Barefoot Contessa"23. What was your favorite film of this year?"Lost in Translation"24. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?Turned 31, had dinner at Lula's, drinks at The Drake, danced until 4:00 at Neo.25.What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?Another art opening.26. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2003?Pointy flats, my Earl jeans and plain t-shirts in all sorts of colors. Always minimal with good lines.27. What kept you sane?My art and my husband.28. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?Orlando Bloom *grrrr*, Andre 3000 and always Audrey Hepburn.29. Who did you miss?My friend Paul who left us in May to travel around the world.30. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2003.Don't take things for granted!

Easily....

This could easily be the way I meet my demise!

Color me red and crap on a cracker!

Just like THAT, at week 15 I am finally over the morning (all-day-hellish-payback-for-every-bad-thing-I-ever-did-in-my-entire-life) sickness that plagued me since week 7. It was, by far, the worst experience of my entire life. I would not wish this on my worst enemy and as far as I'm concerned, labor should be small fries compared to these past 8 weeks.Now, the fun part begins. In the past two days, I've began eating all sorts of nasty (READ: "yummy") crap and thank God, finally started putting on weight. If ever there was an excuse to eat spray cheese, pregnancy certainly is it. And Altoid Citrus Sours, I can't get enough. Still tossing around names for girls. This week's considerations:- Mara- Mena- Eowyn (Heh, just kidding!)

I <3 Sour Bob...still

I may just finish all of my holiday shopping at Sour Bob's House of Dubious Crap!

Over at "The Morning News"

A New Father's Roundtable Discussion:So my wife and I picked up a couple of those Practice Babies – whattayacallums, ‘cats.’ They seem pretty easy to take care of, so after a while we figured we’d give this whole Having A Child scam a try. By our reckoning, if we teach the kid to use the litter box, feed it kibble, and put one of those tracking microchips in the nape of its neck, we won’t have to alter our lifestyle in the least.

Baby Tart!

My friend Cinnamon designed this great hat for babies:The directions are available here at Knitty.com. Too cute!

Things that are really pissing me off right now....

After two months of being married to the toilet with the worst fucking morning sickness ever, these things piss me off to no end:- Women who can be in fashion shows during their first trimester- Women who can host award shows and be all LA-de-DAH during their first trimester- Women who don't live with their head in a toiletReading material that have given me great emotional support:Pregnancy Sucks: When Your Miracle Makes Your MiserableTen Things I Hate About Being Pregnant With the nausea waning, I can't wait for the elation to kick in -- because there is nothing I want more than to hold this little baby in my arms already.And I don't care if I have to take a bucket with me, I am dragging my ass out of bed tonight to see "Return of the King."